Writing an internet dating profile

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Even high-strung people often think they’re ‘laid-back.’ Find something more descriptive.” Other common terms to be avoided: “cool,” “awesome,” “funny.” “Nearly everyone ‘loves to laugh’ and ‘enjoys fun.’ None of that sets you apart. “Put yourself into a potential date's shoes on this one. ’ Blech—that conversation is a total wipeout.” A better alternative, she explains, is telling stories.

Instead of saying, ‘I’m witty,’” Robinson suggests, “say, ‘I’m one part Ricky Gervais, one part Jon Stewart, and a soupcon of Fred Flintstone.’ That paints a more vivid picture.” I like surfing, reading, swimming, jogging, and cooking. If you saw a list like this on a cute girl’s profile, how would you possibly respond? “ ‘Last summer, I went surfing at the Jersey Shore nearly every day with my dog Rufus. Buy me a beer, and I’ll tell you more.’ Something like that gives a date plenty to want to talk to you about—plus you sound like an active, interesting person, not just a list of gerunds.” Don’t stretch the truth, even on minor details.

You don’t have to do anything other than what he does, which keeps your job VERY simple and crystal clear.

If he’s not doing what you want him to do, rest assured, he’s doing what HE wants to do.

[pagebreak] Miss Information tells us it can be truly mindboggling what red flags people slip into their profiles. Any hint of sad trombone will send quality dates running.” Give a critical eye to the potential profile shots, and think about the message they’re sending.

“If you’re just getting over a bad break-up, or you’re feeling really cynical about your ability to find a good woman, or you’re in a depressed place in general, keep all of those feelings out of your profile,” she cautions. These pix dictate how potential dates view you, so be proactive and decide what image you want to project.

NEXT: "Cool" guys finish last [pagebreak] Vague adjectives signal “dull” and appear in far too many profiles, Robinson warns.

“‘I’m a laid-back, easygoing guy…’ Such terms are practically meaningless.

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At what point should I take down my dating profile?

” Or will bringing it up at all make me seem needy and jealous? It’s like making a New Years resolution to do cardio, but refusing to ever set foot in the gym. Maybe this guy needs a dictionary to clarify the term “exclusive,” but, by pretty much any standard, “exclusive” doesn’t mean logging onto Match to peruse other women. You want to know how the concept of “mirroring” (seen in “Why He Disappeared”) plays into online dating. If he emails you immediately, you email him back immediately. If he asks for your phone number, give it to him with a time to call.

Which is why I’m very comfortable redefining your relationship, Vanessa as “non-exclusive.” You’re just seeing a guy who’s making grand proclamations that you want to hear. If he follows up for a second date and you’re interested, accept.

While many of said online matchmaking entities equate “attraction” with a mathematical equation, Nerve Dating (an off-shoot of the sex/dating/culture site, Nerve.com), has incorporated social media conventions into their platform that allow soulmate searchers to create connections via interactive conversations, rather than simply writing essays, checking off endless lists, and hoping for the best.

We’ve tapped Nerve.com’s dating columnist Caitlin Robinson, AKA Miss Information, to offer some tips and tricks to those of you prepping to post your profile.

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